Friday, September 21, 2012

Men in Green


I started some random essay years ago for no good reason called "Everything I need to know I learned from men in green."

I made a list of famous men wearing green/being green and what one could learn from them.

I got the idea when I had just had some great medication from having an outpatient procedure.

I figured that some of life's most pivotal key lessons were somehow connected to the color green.
See what I mean.  Great meds!

I haven't seen the paper list around until I stumbled into it a few days ago.

Thought you might enjoy it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoda:  wisdom
Green army men:  loyalty


Ompaa Lumpaas:  honesty
Incredible Hulk:  anger management
Kermit:  all-around nice guy
Oscar the Grouch:  crankiness
Robin Hood:  charity
Greedo:  a lasting impression


Grinch:  grudges
Green berets:  effective training
Riddler:  give it away
Green Goblin:  success at any price
Budwiser Frogs:  teamwork


Gecko for Geico:  make something boring fun
Toy Story Rex:  fear
Telly Tubbies:  good intentions
Alligator from Happy Gilmore:  karma
Peter Pan:  immaturity
Lyle Lyle Crocodile:  love in the family, regardless of species
Green pants with nobody inside them:  jumping to conclusions
Sneetches with green stars on their bellies:  peer pressure












Crocodile from Peter Pan:  memories
Forest soldiers from the Endor moon:  succeeding with what you have available

Have a great weekend!   Valsy

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Bob the Builder Award: Bob wears a Tutu

Meet Bob. 

Not Bob the Builder.  That Bob is safe and sound in his basement, still creating dollhouses.

Wearing his pants....not a pink tutu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Bob, the award winner today, travels and wears a pink tutu.

http://www.thetutuproject.com/


It is his way of raising money to fight breast cancer.  Go Bob!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

How Walt Disney defined my vision

Dear Walt (as in Disney),

My name is Valerie and I am simple woman from a simple background.

I grew up without the instant availability of french fries, a stoplight, or home delivery of the mail.

We lived in the Great White North, where we didn't lock our doors even when we went on vacation, kids would hold their graduation parties in gravel pits, and the first true crush I even had was a boy in 5th grade named Travis who I actually heard from on the Facebook just this morning.

No Internet.  No computer.  No cable. 

My dad was a working man, my mom a working mom, and often times money was tight.  We didn't get out of Alaska much so when we did, it was really impactful.
 
It is funny that I have ended up in Missouri now.  Your home state.  I have been to your hometown of Marceline (ate some Sonic.)  Stood in your dad's old butcher shop.  I had a job offer from the Art Institute that you briefly studied at.  You and I have ties.   :)

Which leads me to my point of this letter....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Walt.

What is that?  you say.

Let me say it again.  "Thank you, Walt."  From one Missourian to another.

When I was in the fourth grade, my parents pulled me out of school for an extended vacation during the school year.  My dad was a roofer so we were not able to travel in the summer.  That was work season.

So, we tromped around Hawaii and then spent some time in California, in which we got to go to Disneyland.

I remember all of it very clearly, including coveting the Minnie Mouse stuffed animal with the polka dot dress and the big red bow that I wanted sooooo bad but was too scared to tell my grandma when she asked me if I wanted anything. 

There is one ride that just completely bowled me over.

It's A Small World. 


I never knew such a world exsisted.  

I knew the song before I knew it was a ride.  I had the record you know.

It wasn't the ride itself that impacted me.   It was the pictures my mother took during it that so profoundly influenced me---after the ride.

After we got home and she eventually put the pictures of the dolls from the ride in an album.  I looked at them so much growing up that I thought I would look the ink right off the paper.



I wanted to be where those dolls where.  South America.  Asia.  Scandinavia.  See the costumes.  Hear the music.  It spoke to my soul, even as a kid. 

I never forgot that there was a whole world out there, waiting for me to see it. 

So I've gone.  A lot.

A couple weeks ago we went to Disney World for my first time, and we went on the Small World ride. 


And those feelings from 33 years ago came flooding back to me. 

This time, I took my own pictures so I can visit whereever whenever I want to.  :)



Thanks, Walt, for your vision.  It has broadened mine.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Southern Superlatives

When I was in high school, they had goofy awards called "Senior Superlatives."
You know them.....awards voted on by your classmates.  There was"Best Dressed" (I didn't win that--surprised?  :) ), "Best Hair" (I didn't win that either--I mean I should have....I have had the same hair since 3rd grade so it must be working), and "Best Couple" who of course broke up not too long after marriage and have remarried other people.  I did have a serious boyfriend so I technically could have won that one with him, but ends up that he was really gay and it can neither be confirmed that I was his "beard" for the time.  Apparently my classmates knew we weren't the best couple...which a good friend should have pointed it out.  Thanks Sheri.

Man, sure miss high school.  Not.

Mr. Fun should have won "Best 501s" (seriously), and "Best Dressed" but he was beat out by the one dress outfit the winner wore often.  I voted for him in both categories.  He should have won "Smartest" too....I mean after all, he did marry me.  :)  (In case you don't know, we went to high school together which is fun when we hear girly gossip about our hometown we can equally enjoy it).

I did actually win some superlatives.  "Most Spirited," "Everybody's Buddy," and "Most Unforgettable."  Nothing to do with clothing or hair.  :)

So, having just spent basically a month in a moving vehicle, traveling 5,909 miles in the last 30 days, it gives you time to think. 

I noticed that I had an overabundance of leg hair.  Which wasn't my fault since I hadn't had a hot shower in three days in our hotel in Florida. 

I noticed that the back seat is more spacious than the front.

And it gave me time make up my own "senior superlatives."  Southern style.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the winners are....in no particular order:
~Southern Superlatives~
 
Smelliest state:  Louisana (until the end when it smelled like potato salad with pickles)
Worst city to drive in:  Nashville, Tennessee
Unexpected surprise of beauty:  Eufuana, Alabama
Coolest trees:  a tie     Cemetery in Florida
                                    Driveway of plantation in Charleston, SC
Biggest chain:  Not Wal-Mart.  Cracker Barrel
Prettiest temple grounds:  St. Louis, Missouri
Biggest Sassafras tree:  As the sign said, "probably" Owensboro, Kentucky
Smellest mildew hotel room:  Little Rock, Arkansas
Missed opportunity:  Vicksburg, Louisana
Longest duration we were lost:  Sulphur Well, Kentucky for one hour
Best recycling of a fort:  Fort Moultrie (for five wars) Charleston, SC
I can't stop staring:  Star Wars Convention, Orlando Florida
Something Sheri missed out on:  Willie Nelson Gift Shop, Nashville, TN
Total states driven through:  12
Peaches from the side of the road:  South Carolina
Best chinese food:  Orlando, Florida
Biggest invocation of "white man" guilt:  Slave cabins of Boone Plantation Charleston, SC
What were they thinking?  Stone Mountain  Atlanta, Georgia
Strangest things we heard on the radio:  tie:  gospel tent revivals (Alabama)
                                                                       Kasey Kasem Countdown from 1971 (Florida)
Sisters doing it for themselves:  Sweetgrass baskets of Highway 17, Charleston, SC 
Looks like Missouri:  Northern Arkansas
Worst drought:  Missouri
2nd smelliest state:  Alabama
Coolest "Gone with the Wind" southern staircase:  Bowling Green, Kentucky
Boiled peanuts on the side of the road:  Georgia
Best hosts:  tie  Andersons:  antiquing, Shark Week, fried green tomatos --Georgia
                         Phillips: Cuban, beach, Star Wars Dave--Florida
You might go to jail if you take a rock from the ground:  Fort Sumter, SC
Speedy drivers:  the entire South
No hot water in the hotel:  Orlando, Florida
Best dead ancestors:  Exie, Kentucky
Rudest guests:  tie:  Mammoth Cave, Kentucky
                                Disneyworld, Orlando, Florida
Marketing snafoo:  Hurricane Isaac report followed by the "Come visit the Gulf" campaign
Best Marilyn Monroe impersonation:  The Girl in her Sunday dress in front of the chip delivery guy
Best meditative moment/God is Amazing:  Daytona Beach, Florida at night
Safari vacation location sign:  Peru  Arkansas
Most admired "genuine Mormon":  Daniel Logan
Looking out for my best interest:  John Tesh and his helpful tips Lousiana
Almost vomit your Mexican dinner on the space ride:  Epcot, Orlando Florida
Makes me want to march:  Selma, Alabama
Hooary!:  Boyfriend emails the address Atlanta, Georgia
Darkest black:  Mammoth Cave, Kentucky
Bug Holocaust:  Louisana
You are kidding me: Kingdom City, Missouri (the air conditioning stopped working three hours into the 17 day trip....nice)
Holy Ghost moment:  Charleston, South Carolina
Opps!:  Missed three birthdays
You are kidding me Part 2:  Hurrican Isaac interrupts the convention and no New Orleans on the trip
Nicest homeless man:  Burger King, Daytona Beach, Florida
No hot water in public restrooms:  the entire South
Largest speedway:  Daytona, Florida
Best town name:  Jane, Missouri
Probably not again:  Disneyworld Orlando, Florida
No paper towels in restrooms:  entire South
Eaten alive by mosquitos:  Charleston, South Carolina
Best Henna tattoo:  Epcot Orlando, Florida
Best handbar moustache on a monk:   Mepkin Abbey, Monks Corner, S Carolina
"We almost died":  Freeway, Jacksonville, Florida rush hour in the rainstorm
It is really red dirt like on Tara Plantation:  Georgia
You know you're in the south:  4 windows in a trailer covered with Confederate flags Kentucky
New found loves:  tie--not cooking for 17 days
                                     watching tv in bed
Should have left it at home:  Tolkein book, DAR application
Stangest stowaway in the car:  Dave's church suit
Is there somewhere to pull off for a picture:  the entire South
Irony:  "Trees for the future."  Next to a grove of dead trees  Arkansas
Weird to see:  going to the beach with friends you never seen in swimsuits  Florida
Third smelliest state:  South Carolina
The most argumentative member of our group:  The TomTom (Garmin).  Named Leia.
Walmarts on the side of the road:  28 (The Girl had guessed 27)
"You've been talking in your sleep:"  The Girl  entire south
Best religious song I have ever heard:  1st song by the monks
Smoothest reflective water:  Florida
Best car snacks:  melted clumpy snackwells
Favorite t-shirt slogan I saw:  "I had friends on that Death Star."  Florida
Prettiest views:  Arkansas and Tennessee
Best gas station:  White Oak Rogers, Arkansas
Movie star interaction: Seth Green Orlando, Florida
Pharmacy of the South:  Walgreens.  CVS?  Forget about it.  Entire South
Odd couple:  bacon lollipop  Arkansas
Temples seen:  5
Boringest landscape:  Missouri
Best Salad:  Orlando, Florida
Most humbling moment:  Precious treasures of slaves South Carolina
Cheapest Meal:  Rich Hill, Missouri
Most states covered in one day:  6
Best imitation of a baked potato:  Stone Mountain, Georgia
Rick Springfield's "best work":  Jessie's Girl  Arkansas
Most new buildings:  Joplin, Missouri
Best guest driver:  Dave  Florida
Favorite unexpected stop:  the abbey  South Carolina
Party like a rock star:  The Girl....hair stylist, costume mistress, chef, drivers, and handlers
Priceless:  Time with my daughter and great friend Carol :)



Saturday, August 25, 2012

"If you are not a Sith Lord, wait to be called."

Tonight ends the fun and games of life in a galaxy far, far away.

Fortunately for you, we had one last day full of trooping, costume handling, and lots of mostly naked women.

In no particular order:
*Aubrey attended some super bash last night and got to meet some famous people I have never heard of.  :)
*48 "Slave Leia" costumed chicks
*12 folks in kilts
*Count Dokou and OB1 Kenobi had to run and catch the bus.  Why didn't they just use the Force to stop us from moving?
*No hot water in our hotel room
*Class called "Ladies of the Legion."j
*The jedis on the bus got so excited to get to the conference that they shoved their way off before everyone else.
*Jesus was there again today.  This time he was in a volunteer shirt and modeling service to others.
*I wore my "It's A Von Trapp" t shirt.
*"I didn't join to be awesome.  It just happened."  Aubrey
*Met a guy named Ted (from Tampa) who hung out with us for a while.
*Stormtroppers had chapped thighs.
*There was a Royal Red Guard Flash Mob with Darth and the Emperor.
*Talk about a photo frenzy.
*"You should put your spanks on before you put on that costume." Ouch.
*"If you are not a Sith Lord, wait to be called."
*"Bounty hunters to the left.  Sith Lords to the right."
*Near fist fight between Padme in her travel outfit and some foreign woman.
*Beaker Stormtrooper checked his head in coat check.
*There was a wedding performed on the stairs after the bad guy photograph.
*We ate lunch with a Jawa.
*One of the Boba Fetts was carrying a cowboy gun and holster.
*A Jedi Robe set costs $800
*Carol and I did a lot of people watching.  And mocking.  Good thing Service Jesus wasn't around us.
*There was a Darth Vadar with a garbage bag cape.
*There was a Han Solo with a pig head.
*T shirt that said "I am kind of a big deal in Wisconsin."
*Grandma with knitted buns for her hair.
*There was a Leia with fishnet stockings.
*Tiny baby Wookee
*Joker was there
*Spare tires on a body are not good.  Spare tires painted blue are even worse.
*There was a sign that said "Jason loves boobies."  Maybe he should meet those Boobie Fetts.
*Last but not least, two Boba Fetts in leisure suits.

This is my second convention. It was fun to be with Aubrey and Carol.  It was fun to have a costumed member of our party so that we can learn the inside secrets of the convention.  I am glad I came.

Pictures today:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151163324690042.493049.532120041&type=1&l=8cf073b1f1

Since the hurricane is coming tomorrow, we are going home a day early.
Hope you have enjoyed the convention.
Valsy