It has had a check up and the mechanical folks I know say they can't fix it until it is all the way broken.
Since it probably only worth about $34.87, I doubt we will invest in a major repair for it. It is like watching an old friend get sicker and sicker.
We bought that little truck 8 years ago, with the idea it might last two or three years at most. I see everything after that as a bonus. Like living three years longer with your cancer diagnosis.
Recently I was cruisin' along, giving Tom A a ride and there was a new sort of strange sound coming from its enginey area. "That's new," I said. As I strained to hear the sound, Tom leaned over and turned the radio up.
I was perplexed.
"Why did you do that? I am trying to hear the noise," Val
"Why?" Tom
"Why? That is a strange question. I want to hear the noise." Val
"Can you fix it?" Tom
"No" Val
"You know the truck is dying. You know it makes sounds. You don't have the skills to fix it even if you heard the sound. Why upset yourself? Just turn the radio up (to drown it out)." Tom
I have given his idea a lot of thought in the last several days.
How often do I strain to hear a "sound" that isn't going to help me? How often do I look, consciously or otherwise, for sounds that don't build me, but actually distract me or hurt me? I can't tell you what the traffic was doing at the moment I heard the sound because I was too focused on the sound. Distracted driving? No good.
How many of those sounds have I really been able to fix on my own? Not too many. Maybe none at all.
Mr. Fun has an amazing Great Aunty who once told me something. She believes that there are four major veins of struggles we as humans seem to go through. Repeating "sounds" that burden us and distract us from the direction we are heading:
*Prblems with our spouse
*Problems with our children/parents
*Money problems
*Problems with others we are not related to
I have thought about our conversation for almost 20 years and I absolutely believe my greatest pains and burdens are my problems I have had with others I am not related to.
I guess the point of all this rambling is that perhaps my answers lie is simply just turning the radio up. Staying focused on what the big picture is. The point being is that I should be happy that the truck is still running. It works, here and now. I should let go of the sounds in my life that don't build, don't sustain or make me feel like the daughter of a Heavenly Father I want to feel like.
