Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Wanna take a field trip? Let's go buy some goat

I like to think of it like a foreign exchange program, administered by God.
The LDS people are notorious "helpers."  It is how we are wired. 

Moving?  No worries!  You ask us to bring a guy or two to help, we bring 12.

Sick?  No worries!  The LDS women can COOOOOK.  If word is out you are sick, they "bring in meals."  My father calls it "Mormon Take Out."

Homeless?  No worries!  Ask the Andersons.  They have a spare room (with a door now-a-days for those who have stayed in the basement on the day bed door less) waiting just for you!

That is how this family of Africans showed up in the early morning hours on a Monday morning last month from Utah.  You can read about the mother, Leah, in an earlier blog.

Leah, the girl with Leah, the cat
Chadrak...in his Hannah Montana wrap

Baby Meshak

Perhaps it is the timing.  I already had others guests--in the guest room.  Tiel and his sister-in-law, Morgan.  Tiel, a bestie and our favorite Eskimo, was visiting from Alaska.  So not only did the Africans cut into my visit with Tiel and Morgan, but they also cut into my bed space. 

We were getting house siding estimates.  So one morning, I had Tiel, Leah and the children, The Boy, Morgan, me, four other Africans and the siding estimator, a Slovak named John something or other.  I wrote on the Facebook my house was the Western branch of the UN. 

And I wasn't kidding.

So in the middle of all of that, Leah was "jonesing" for some goat meat. 

Yeah, that kind of goat.

Ummm, goat?  I say.  Can't really help you, Leah.  Kansas City IS the red meat capital of the United States but of a different domesticated animal...(right state, wrong meat). 

Nope, she says.  There is an African food store in the city.  (How does someone who has been in town a few days and barely speaks the language know that?)  Sister Anderson, will you take me? 

So, we packed up the babies and off we went.  You know I love an adventure!

Who knew there were TWO African food stores in the city?  One is located here (look carefully, it is disguised as a Mexican hot spot)

The other store is located here:

Yep, next to the gay bar for buddies.

Well, you know the camera in the purse found its way out into my hand.  The store was tiny and squished FULL of stuff.  Like one of those hoarder shows.  But since I knew you were DYING to see the inside of the African market, I risked life and limb to bring you these contraband pictures.

The produce section

This is the best picture.  After I took it, the woman working at the store LITERALLY started screaming at me.  "Why are you taking pictures?!  Did you ask me?!  Never again take pictures without asking me!" 

I was mortified.  I must have turn three shades of red...which of course was noticeable since I was the only white person in the store.  And the only American.

This may surprise you, but the first thing I thought was "Hey, wait a minute.  You are in America.  You own a business in America.  You are a guest in my country. A simple "Please, we don't allow photographs" would have sufficed.  Or "Thanks for letting me move here and live the capitalistic dream by supporting me by buying some goat meat."  It felt like I was being called out in my own house.

Leah seemed completely unfazed by the screaming and carried on with her goat meat shopping. 

Well, you know me.  I am like an embedded journalist in the war of everyday life, so I had to silently decline their offer to let me ask them to take more.

Leah said all this rice was the worthless kind

Nope, I have no idea what Ugu Leaves are.
Read you can use them in spaghetti.

Need a new spring outfit?
Or perhaps a new hair weave for your spring look

I rented Fearless Woman 2...of course  :)
from the Ghanaian section of the African Redbox

Let's just say the whole experience was interesting and unexpected.  I apologized to the Screaming Woman for taking a picture of the vegetables without permission.   How ever, I did not apologize for all the other pictures I took without her permission.  She was so touched by my graciousness that she was even kind enough to wipe the mouse droppings off the bag of rice Leah was buying.  For reals.

That unexpected experience was not half as unexpected as the stench that fried goat meat has.

Let me just say that if you know The Girl and The Boy, you know that it must have been really really bad if they chose to go outside and play in 40* weather rather than stay in the house. 

It was that bad.

But in the end, the Africans ate goat and were happy.  They moved out last week, thus bringing an end to our foreign exchange stint. 

Until next time.

I am tired and not feeling well....does anyone have any Mormon Take Out?  :)