It is no secret that I was in a sad place to be turning 40. I think it began with that blasted Social Security retirement benefits paper that shows up and shows the umpteen years of "0.00" in the earnings columns. Regardless of my religous beliefs, I am still a part of society and society tells me that I am worth something when I contribute something that is of worth....measurable, tangible worth. I don't have a lot of that going on. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, it took a little digging from the inside out to try and validate my last forty years. And still, that wasn't getting it done for me. Not really. While I sat in the hospital ER on Sunday for the umpteenth time since moving to Kansas City (if I got credit for all the doctor visits I have had or been to in this life--the social security people wouldn't have enough paper to record those!) I started my list. Ever made one of those? A list of goals you wanted and accomplished? To validate your life? They can be a little daunting. And rewarding.
Seemingly incomplete however.
But, as Randy Jackson says, "let's keep it real." What is real is there are bunch of people scattered through my life that are my true measure of my worth. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cannot express how great I feel today. Through old fashioned cards (complete with grandma monies), emails, Facebook, packages, surprise Cheryl-y church lady lunch--complete with spring rolls and truffles (who says no one reads my blog?! :)) , Man lunch (complete with hot chocolate dumped all over on me from the waiter), and an "Old As Mold" surprise birthday party sponsored by none other than Mr. Fun himself (Justin Timberlake couldn't have done better himself), the day was such a delight.
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and consideration.
It sounds trivial, but it REALLY does make the difference. :)
Loving you
